


Dancing on Glass

by xo_marauders



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Child Abuse, Desi Potter Family (Harry Potter), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gay Sirius Black, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Running Away, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, WolfStar Endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25752751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xo_marauders/pseuds/xo_marauders
Summary: Do you write the “Sirius running away from home” trope to get over your writers block or are you normal?*****Dear Moony,How have you been, mate? Good, I hope. Pretty sure I have been driving mum and da up the wall with my constant complaints of boredom. Not even Quidditch has been able to occupy my mind.I know that the moon was last week, but I still wanted to check in and see how you’re holding up. Do you need me to send anything? Mum has some excellent soothing salves if you want some and I can always send more Honeydukes! Call me a mother hen all you want, I don’t care. I want to make sure you’re alright.Speaking of maternal instincts, have you happened to hear from Sirius? I haven’t gotten one letter from him this summer which wouldn’t be so worrying since we have the mirrors except he won’t answer my calls on those either. Please let me know as soon as possible if you’ve heard from him. I’m writing to Pete about it as well. And send letters to Sirius if you could. Hopefully he’ll answer at least one of us.Tell your folks I said hi,Prongs
Relationships: Euphemia Potter/Fleamont Potter, Hope Lupin/Lyall Lupin, Orion Black/Walburga Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 39
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> writing this trope is how I get over my writers block, but it turned into a whole long story! about five chapters so stay tuned! I'll be uploading them twice a week so it should be pumped out fast. :) 
> 
> this chapter is not too heavy, but it will get there very fast. pls protect yourselves and keep your eye on the tags as we go along.

The summer sun bore down on the earth, warming everything in sight with its rays, including the small house sitting on a patch of spacious land. The birds were chirping as they fluttered in the air and the creek nearby babbled pleasantly in the distance. A young man with several scars across his face was laying in the tall grass in the front of the house, listening to the sounds that surrounded him, allowing the peaceful atmosphere to envelope him. He felt as if he was one with nature in moments like these, which was disgustingly ironic considering he turned into a wild animal once a month that was more familiar and adept with the forest than he was. Still, the birds did not fear him as he was now and the rippling water was more calming than irritating to his senses. He could enjoy these pleasantries as a human rather than startle them as the wolf. 

“Remus!” His mother’s voice hollered from the house. The boy listened as the door creaked slightly when opened, followed by light footsteps treading across the old, wooden porch. He smiled to himself, peeking one eye open to watch his mother as she scanned the yard. 

“Hmmm...” She tapped her fingers against her chin for a moment. “I wonder where my little boy has run off to.” 

“I’m not little anymore, mum.” Remus popped his head up, his curly hair looking quite messy. Hope just smiled and motioned for him to come inside. Once he reached her, he pulled her into a tight hug, resting his head atop her own and laughing. 

“See? I’m not _little_ anymore.” 

Hope just tutted at him fondly and followed him through the door back into the house. At the small kitchen table sat a light brown farm owl with wide eyes, instantly recognized as James Potter’s pet, with a letter attached to its foot. It hooted happily at Remus and he allowed the bird to peck lovingly at his fingers as he untied the note. 

“‘Lo, Kip.” He muttered before moving aside to read the letter so Hope could feed the owl bits of bread. Remus’ eyes scanned over the parchment, his body tensing with each word and the good feeling he had sustained all day was now slipping away, replaced with a sense of foreboding. 

_Dear Moony,_

_How have you been, mate? Good, I hope. Pretty sure I have been driving mum and da up the wall with my constant complaints of boredom. Not even Quidditch has been able to occupy my mind._

_I know that the moon was last week, but I still wanted to check in and see how you’re holding up. Do you need me to send anything? Mum has some excellent soothing salves if you want some and I can always send more Honeydukes! Call me a mother hen all you want, I don’t care. I want to make sure you’re alright._

_Speaking of maternal instincts, have you happened to hear from Sirius? I haven’t gotten one letter from him this summer which wouldn’t be so worrying since we have the mirrors except he won’t answer my calls on those either. Please let me know as soon as possible if you’ve heard from him. I’m writing to Pete about it as well. And send letters to Sirius if you could. Hopefully he’ll answer at least one of us._

_Tell your folks I said hi,_

_Prongs_

The feeling of guilt was suddenly welling up inside Remus’ gut. He had not been in correspondence with Sirius ever since school ended either, but Remus had assumed that was due to the _event_ that had taken place just before the year ended. The event being Gryffindor winning the house cup, prompting a celebratory uproar at the Gryffindor table where Sirius, seemingly on a high of adrenaline, promptly placed his lips firmly against Remus’ own. 

He felt lightheaded just thinking about it. The tingling sensation he felt when the dark haired boy gently cupped his cheek and the fireworks that had exploded in his mind at the initial touch of lips against lips had left him reeling for the last few days of school and well into the summer. But Sirius hadn’t said a word about what happened. Hadn’t expressed any thoughts about it, not even through a letter. Remus had thought that maybe he was embarrassed, that he regretted it the same time Remus relished in it. 

Now, he wasn’t so sure. 

Sirius ignoring Remus because of humiliation was one thing, but ignoring the marauders as a whole? It didn’t sit right. A sudden sensation of dread was filling Remus’ insides at the possibilities of what truly was keeping Sirius from contacting his friends. 

The Noble House of Black that Sirius was raised in was not the most loving household there was, putting their outdated views and beliefs above their children’s happiness, meticulously maintaining their pureblooded-ness with arranged marriages to distant cousins and disowning any family members who step out of line. It was horrible really, and Remus wasn’t even aware of all that happened behind closed doors. James had an idea, but James had grown up pureblood as well and though Fleamont and Euphemia were vastly different than Orion and Walburga in every way, the young Potter boy was able to be more privy to conversations surrounding the Blacks affairs through the grapevine that was pureblood society. The quiet conversations James had with Sirius at the beginning and end of each school year let Remus know that things were definitely more complicated with Sirius’ parents than he understood. 

But they all knew about the nightmares. 

The first time Sirius woke up screaming in the marauders shared dorm room was in their third year just after the summer holiday. Peter was the only one who really knew what to do, having grown up with a younger sister who was apparently susceptible to night terrors, and had wrapped his arms tightly around Sirius’ thrashing body in an effort to restrain him while instructing James to get a cool cloth. None of them ever really spoke about it, but James and Remus quickly learned how to soothe their friend as well. 

“Something the matter, dear?” 

His mother’s voice pulled Remus’ eyes and thoughts away from the letter in his hand, which was now crumpled at the edges from his tight grip. He looked at her and shook his head. Hope rushed forward in a second, pulling her son into her arms and making him feel like a small boy again, despite the fact that they were joking just moments ago about how much he had grown. Tears had sprung in his eyes unprompted as Hope cooed soothingly in his ear and he thought of how Sirius had probably never received this kind of affection in his life. 

“I don’t think Sirius is okay, mum.” Remus mumbled in her neck. She gripped him more tightly, at a loss for what to do. She knew, of course, the way her son felt about the young heir of Black, how scared he was to admit such feelings to her and even more so to _himself_. Hope had taken it all in stride, taking Remus in her arms the same way she was now, and telling him how proud she was of him and how much she loved him. She couldn’t imagine feelings anything else. 

“What do you need from me?” She asked. 

“I need to get to James’.” 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let's head on over to the Potters to get their perspective now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: implied child abuse. nothing graphic at all though

The Potter mansion was unusually quiet as Fleamont Potter sat in his study, staring at the same page of a book he had been reading for twenty minutes now as he strained his to hear the thundering of his sons footsteps pounding across the floor or the sound of his muggle record player blaring loud tunes. Instead, he was met with silence which either meant James was up to some elaborate prank or something was wrong. 

With a sigh, Fleamont finally put his book to rest and sat up gingerly from the leather chair he had been resting in. The joints in his body cracked a bit as he made his way down the long hallway and up the stairs to the second floor where James’ bedroom resided. The door was cracked open and Fleamont knew James was inside because he could now hear a faint tapping of fingers against a desk, a tell-tale sign that his son was anxious. 

“Jamie?” Fleamont asked, knocking lightly on the door, “can I come in?” 

There was murmur of assent and Fleamont stepped inside. James was leaning against his desk, various pieces of parchment strewn across it along with some Quidditch magazines and an owl cage that was vacant. The bespectacled boy was staring out the window expectantly, as if he were waiting for some kind of news to fly in. His hair was an unruly mess—a sight that was not uncommon—but it appeared more disheveled than usual, as if James had been running his fingers through it nonstop.

“Something troubling you, son?” Fleamont asked, taking a seat on the unmade bed in the middle of the room. 

James turned now and crossed his arms, a frown on his face and thick eyebrows crinkled in a way that reminded Fleamont of Euphemia, a similar expression played on her face whenever she was worried about something.

“Sirius hasn’t responded to my letters.” 

“Perhaps he’s busy?” 

“All summer, dad?” James asked in an unconvinced tone. “Besides, even if he was too busy to write, we have the mirrors and he _always_ answers the mirrors.” 

A weighty expression came across the young boy’s face as he turned to his father with a resolute look in his eye. Fleamont stared back, his own thoughts beginning to race with the possibilities of why Sirius Black had suddenly stopped corresponding with his best friend. Past summers and holidays it was near impossible to get James to set the mirror down to come down to dinner or even go to bed. Euphemia had offered for Sirius to just come and stay with them for how often they spoke with one another, but Sirius vehemently refused, saying he didn’t want to be a bother. He came once, over Christmas, but the young man had seemed oddly on edge throughout the entire visit.

Now, Fleamont wondered if the boy had ever been granted permission. 

He knew the Blacks were… _stricter_ than other wizarding families, disciplining their children over poor posture or incorrect speech and instilling outdated blood purity beliefs into them from a very young age. Fleamont and Euphemia have attended a few parties in the past where the Blacks where invited and it was always quite unpleasant. Orion Black was a cold man with a stony look ever present on his piqued but handsome face. He never spoke much and kept to himself, largely because no one dare go near him. His wife Walburga was beautiful with her sharp features and it was easy to see who Sirius took after. But where light shone brightly in her eldest son’s silver eyes, hers were blinded with disdain and hate. When James had first mentioned his new friend all the way back in his first year, Fleamont was quite wary. But, he and Euphemia had raised their son to not pass judgement on anybody so they could hardly be surprised when he welcomed Sirius into his life with open arms. And it was quite good that he had.

Fleamont had never seen James so excited when talking about his small group of friends. James had gone on and on about how brilliant the once very shy and awkward Remus Lupin was with pulling off pranks and how smart he was (“with both magic and muggle stuff, dad!”) or how kind he was to everyone around him. Peter Pettigrew was often described as a little timid and uncertain of himself, but James always reassured his parents that Peter was just as important to the group as any of them. And Sirius, well, James pretty much adopted the other boy to be his brother from the moment they met on the train. They became quite the duo and caused lots of trouble, but they were also there for each other through the hard stuff as well. Fleamont couldn’t imagine them without each other.

“I think Sirius is in trouble, dad.” James sounded small, like a young child again and Fleamont’s heart clenched. James was right; Sirius had never kept James waiting before. The only explanation as to why he wouldn’t be responding was because he _couldn’t_.

“Jamie, I think you might be right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for reading! I always appreciate the comments and kudos! :)   
> let me know who you think we're hearing from next!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let's check in on Sirius himself...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: graphic depictions of child abuse

_Everything_ hurt. His chest, his legs, his throat. The motherfucking hair on his head even seemed to ache. It had been nearly—three days? —since Sirius had been forced to flee his home, forced to run for his life. The memory of Walburga’s screeching still rung in his ears, mingled with the horrible sound his own voice had made as his father struck him with the torture curse, feeling as though the physical abuse already inflicted upon him wasn’t enough. Sirius was unsure how he had even escaped. Had he escaped? Or had he been thrown to the streets like his mother promised to do so many times before? He couldn’t remember. The pounding of his head and the shakiness of his limbs was inhibiting his ability to think clearly, to even understand _where he was,_ exactly.

He blinked, looking around for some sort of street sign before bursting into a painful laugh. How could he be so stupid as to think he’d be able to navigate the muggle world? He had grown up pureblood, he was much too “ _proper and noble_ ” to be seen in such places. This made Sirius laugh more, his ribs protesting painfully, as he thought of Grimmauld Place and how it was smack dab in the middle of muggle London. The irony of it all was too much.

Thinking of Grimmauld Place sobered him up quickly. He never really considered the place to be his home, but now where was he supposed to go? He was underage, he was broke, and he had no idea how the outside world worked. Sirius put up a tough act majority of the time but at that moment, he was terrified. His first thought was James because it was always James, wasn’t it? James would be the only one who would understand, the only one who would be able to help. Peter would be too fidgety and scared and Remus—

Remus.

Sirius let out a sob as he thought of the other boy, remembering how right it felt when he touched his lips to the werewolf’s just before term ended. How Sirius wished he could go back to that moment, a part of him wanting to relive it while the other wishing to erase it completely. He didn’t regret kissing Remus, he could never regret that. What he did regret was endangering his friend as well as himself with one stupid, impulsive decision—he shouldn’t have been so reckless as to think no one had _seen_ _them._

Pureblood families were all intermingled so it shouldn’t have shocked Sirius when his mother confronted him on the crude behavior he was participating in at school. At first, Sirius thought it might have been Regulus who had blabbed, but the fearful look on his little brother’s face made him think otherwise. Sirius was never able to find out how exactly Walburga found out, all he knew was there was no lying his way out of it. She had been furious, screeching curse after curse in his direction, not even listening to the pleas of her youngest son begging her to stop in the background. Once Orion stepped in, Sirius knew he had to either leave or be killed.

Pushing all the pain and torture aside, Sirius wondered if Remus even enjoyed the kiss or wanted it. They hadn’t even spoken about it, never really having the chance, and now Sirius felt as though he might have lost his Moony completely. He couldn’t bear that loss.

His thoughts whirred as he stumbled, landing to the ground with a harsh thud. Gravel dug into his palms and knees, causing him to hiss at the spike of pain that reverberated throughput his whole body, especially his left arm. He was pretty sure he had broken it when Orion pushed him down the stairs. He blinked, looking up and wondering—not for the first time—where he was. He had long since escaped the city and heading toward the country, hopefully in the direction of Potter manor, though he wasn’t exactly sure where that was. He’d only been there once before when he had lied to his parents about staying at Hogwarts for Christmas and instead tagged along with James to the Potters. His punishment that summer had been quite severe.

“Please,” He whispered hoarsely into the air, tears filling his eyes pathetically. “James, please help me.”

It felt so childish to be calling out for a friend that wasn’t even there, but it’s all Sirius had. James was his rock, his constant supporter and the only person he could think of without feeling lost.

“James,” His head felt fuzzy and his eyes fluttered a moment more before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading this story! we are getting so close to the ending!  
> comments and kudos are always appreciated


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a climax of sorts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally did not read through this to check for any spelling errors and such so pls go easy on me and also tell me if I need to fix anything! 
> 
> UPDATE: i did find a small error that i have updated. i like completely forgot that remus and sirius weren’t together in this (yet lol) and i had a sentence that referred to them as being boyfriends. it is fixed now and we will resolve all of that sort of tension in the next chapter 😅 my bad to anyone who got confused. i’m not used to writing multi-chapter stories 
> 
> TW: blood, talk of injury

Euphemia was trying to be a good hostess. She was trying to offer tea and light conversation, but the shakiness of her hands as she poured the kettle and the quiver of her lip gave away her worry. James stared at her, wishing he could offer some help but he was vibrating out of his own skin as it was. Remus and his mother had arrived just a few hours ago, having used the floo network despite Hope’s wariness of stepping into the green flames without her wizard of a husband to reassure her it was safe. Remus was nearly sitting on top of James, their arms touching and knees knocking together, neither of them being able to sit comfortably together on the small sofa chair now that they were practically grown. They both sat, waiting, feeling absolutely useless as Fleamont made calls in his study to _anyone_ who could possibly help.

“Would you like any cream in your tea, Hope?” Euphemia asked.

“No, thank you. Sugar is fine.”

“Remus? Tea?”

“I’m okay, Mrs. Potter.”

“Mia is fine, dear.”

They became silent once more. James was becoming more and more impatient. He should be doing something. He should be at the Black’s home in London, pounding on the door and demanding to see Sirius. He shouldn’t be sitting there with the possibility of his friend being hurt hanging above his head. Sirius wouldn’t hesitate to look for James, to look for _any_ of them. Sirius would rather die than abandon his friends.

James felt like an awful friend.

His thoughts of self-loathing were interrupted by a knock on the door. Remus froze next to him, his entire body tensing with anticipation of who it could be. Euphemia was up before anyone else could move, hurrying towards the entry way as if her life depended on it—as if Sirius life depended on it. When the large door swung open, it revealed a young woman with long, dark hair, skin like porcelain and vaguely familiar eyes. Rushing up the steps behind her was a young man with a much tanner complexion and a mess of curly hair a top his head. He was carrying something in a blanket. Or rather, _someone_.

“He kept muttering about the Potters,” The girl started, her voice wobbly as Euphemia ushered her inside. James was out of his seat, as well as Remus, when they noticed the unconscious figure in the man’s arms was Sirius. He was pale, deathly so, with a smattering of colorful bruises covering him. Most of him was being shielded by the thick quilt he had been wrapped in, but from what the two boys could tell, their friend had been through _hell_.

“We found him on the side of the road,” The girl was still talking, her voice almost too fast to keep up with, “We didn’t—Regulus, he wrote to me. I didn’t know he could still write to me, but he told me Sirius was gone and at first I wasn’t sure if I believed him, I thought perhaps it was a trick, but Ted and I went to search for him anyway and he was—Gods—there was so much blood. I didn’t know what to do, we had to take Dora to Ted’s parents because she just kept crying when she saw him and I—”

“Andy, slow down. You’re going to pass out.” The man—Ted—said, his voice much calmer. James looked between the two of them, realizing with a jolt that this was Sirius’ cousin, Andromeda. Sirius had spoken about her a few times and had mentioned how she had been disowned from the family for falling in love with a muggleborn. The resemblance between Andromeda and Sirius wasn’t identical, but still there in the expressions she made and the sharpness of her cheeks.

“Here, put him on the table.” Euphemia said, helping Ted lay Sirius on the now cleared off kitchen table. James stole a glance at Remus who was hovering in the doorway with a shocked look on his face, as if he couldn’t believe it was his friend lying there in a mess of his own blood. Fleamont came in, followed by Hope who must’ve been the only one who had thought to inform Fleamont of the current circumstances occurring in his home.

“Jesus Christ,” Hope mumbled, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as tears sprung into her eyes. It was as if her reaction triggered something in Remus because suddenly, he was lurching forward, smacking his knees against the kitchen tile and grasping towards Sirius. He was screaming, but James couldn’t decipher what the words were exactly—probably desperate plea for Sirius to be okay, the same one that was threatening to crawl up James’ own throat.

Andromeda grabbed hold of Remus, his head tucking against her shoulder as he wailed and James stood shell-shocked. He didn’t know what to do in situations like this. He couldn’t offer any comfort; he couldn’t even move. If he moved, he’d be on the floor just like Remus was and he couldn’t do that right now. He just couldn’t. Instead, he directed his gaze back towards his mother and Ted. They were working furiously, with Ted peeling away the remainder of Sirius’ shirt from his body while Euphemia cast as many healing spells as she could. Hope appeared in the mix at some point with damp clothes, dabbing away at the blood across Sirius’ body and Fleamont excused himself to make more calls, specifically to Dumbledore and the auror office.

 _Please wake up, Padfoot,_ James thought to himself. _Please_.

A gurgled cough came in response as Sirius’ body convulsed. His eyes fluttered open and for a moment, they were full of nothing but pure terror and fear. He screamed as Ted went to touch him before realizing that it wasn’t his father. Remus was still sobbing in Andromeda’s arms, though Sirius didn’t seem to notice anyone else was in the room aside from Ted.

“Sirius,” James finally spoke, his voice sounding much more broken than he thought it would.

Sirius looked toward him, eyes widening and tears spilling down his cheeks.

“ _James_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! we are getting so close to the end of this story!  
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one step forward, two steps back
> 
> …or whatever the phrase is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a late update and a short one, but an update none the less!   
> life has been crazy! I am currently moving into a new place and school has started up for me so my time has been stretched very thin so I am sorry! 
> 
> I have also lengthened the chapter numbers cuz five doesn't seem like enough. 
> 
> anyway, enjoy!

Sirius was sleeping. He was tucked away beneath James’ thick comforter on a large bed that made him look smaller than he really was. Remus was sat in a chair next to him, hands clasped tightly in his lap and his red rimmed eyes watching for any sort of movement from the other boy. After Sirius had woken up in the kitchen and spotted James, he started hyperventilating and sobbing so hysterically that Euphemia had to coax a calming potion down his throat while James held him down. He had passed out soon after, the combination of exhaustion and potions wearing him out, and Remus had been sitting by his side ever since.

He tried not to think about the relief on Sirius’ face the moment he spotted James. He tried not to be jealous over the fact that Sirius had been trying to get to James instead of him. He tried—but it was hard.

Remus shook his head, his curls falling into his eyes as he did so. How could he be so selfish as to feel like that right now? When Sirius barely survived whatever happened to him…

“How is he?”

Remus jerked a bit at the sound of someone’s voice echoing throughout the otherwise silent room. He turned to see Andromeda standing in the doorway, her posture straight and chin held high—similar to the way Sirius stood every once in a while. Her face was kind, a small smile gracing her features but her eyes held an almost icy gaze as she eyed Remus warily.

“He’s still sleeping.” Remus said. His voice was hoarse from crying and he suddenly felt embarrassed for having broken down in her arms earlier.

Andromeda moved further into the room, making her way until she was standing beside the bed, looking down at her battered cousin. Remus wondered what was going through her mind; was this the first time in years Andromeda had seen Sirius? Could she have prevented any of this from happening? Did she blame herself the same way Remus did?

“He’s been through enough pain, you know.” Andromeda said quietly. Remus looked up, brows furrowed with confusion as he took in the almost apologetic look she was giving him.

“I’m not sure I understand what you are trying to tell me, Andromeda.”

“I get it. Trust me, I get it. I see the way you look at him. I understand where your reaction came from back in the kitchen. I understand that it’s more than just friendship between you both. However far that stretches, I’m not sure. But I get it.” She pauses, her gaze returning to Sirius and her slim hand slipping into his own. “Don’t be another thing that hurts him.”

Remus wanted to argue. He wanted to defend himself, claim that he could never ever hurt Sirius but his tongue seemed to be glued to the roof of his mouth. He hasn’t even admitted his feelings to Sirius so how could he make a promise like that? How could he claim a heart that wasn’t his? Andromeda was right; Sirius had suffered through enough pain to last several lifetimes and Remus couldn’t just waltz into his life expecting things to change. If anything, they would be worse. Remus was a werewolf after all. He could hurt Sirius physically and drain him emotionally. His condition was taxing and he shouldn’t— _couldn’t_ —expect another person to take all that on. Especially Sirius.

“I won’t hurt him.” Remus muttered. “I won’t let myself ever get the chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! I already have the next chapter written but let me know what you guys what to see cuz I am down to revise! 
> 
> coments and kudos are always appreciated   
> come chat with me on tumblr @ xomarauders


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